All good adventures have tense moments. Yesterday was one of them!

I've been referring to this whole mental health quest as a journey or better still, an adventure. I'm not trying to sensationalize it more than it is, but let's face it, if there happens to be truth to what is happening here - if I stumbled across some sort of (oh, dare I use the word) "cure" for Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, or Bipolar Disorder (believe me, the verdict is not anywhere near to being out yet and I'm not stating that I have - just being hypothetical here.), then that's SENSATIONAL! It is exciting beyond belief, for the victims of the illness (both patients and the people who may have been affected by someone with these conditions) and society as a whole. We need to make our world more well, any way we can. The countless stories of people hurting each other, that afflict our country and beyond, do not all stem from mental illness, but it is influenced negatively by it anyhow.
So, yes, for entertainment purposes in this blog and to simply lighten a very heavy topic up, I will continue to call this an adventure that I'm on. My point in mentioning this is that, ALL good adventures are not rosy and happy every second. To be an adventure, you have to have suspense, drama and moments where you are not sure if the main character will make it or achieve his/her goal of acquiring what he/ she is seeking out.
In my adventure, which is unfolding as we speak, I am not Indiana Jones but Indiana Jase on the most important crusade of his life. This particular journey does not, however, have me traipsing all across the world to exotic locations. No, my exploration is one into the inner realms of my own brain and imagination. My goal is not to discover the riches of a society long forgotten, but one of uncovering health and mental wealth for our society as a whole. This is not a story about diamond mines, but one of crystal... crystal clear thoughts and emotions.
I finally have a label and title for the adventure that I'm on. It just popped into my head, which it is based on. And it is this... this adventure, this story, my life will now be referred to by me as:
The Adventure of Indiana Jase and the Quest for the Crystal Mind!
Ridiculous? A little. But fun and light? Yes.
Anyway, fantasy aside (no, not delusional fantasy, this is all in good fun!), yesterday was a rough day for this "adventurer". The day started out just fine. I was practically skipping to the barn, feeling great after waking up early, as usual, around 5:00am. (I go to bed around 9:00pm)
The day continued to be well for me till around 9:00am. I was working on the computer, emailing some information to the media (which by the way, has not gotten back to me yet. I'm sure it will take some time.) when the Internet started reeking havoc. It was frustrating to say the least, as I attempted to correct the problems (emphasis on plural). It was completely situational but my own buttons were being pushed and I found myself getting angry - after an hour of cyber struggles! Granted, ANYONE would have been upset, no matter their diagnoses or lack there of, so I certainly have to give myself some slack here. It wasn't like I was irritable for no reason - which often happens with this condition. No, this time it was based on an external force - a frustrating computer.
So I experienced that sensation of irritability, but it passed once the issue was resolved. I also want to note that what I was doing was important. I was trying to communicate with the press what is happening to me. And that seems to be a newly sensitive issue for me. I love speaking and writing and expressing myself now to other people (remember, I used to hate that). Now, it's become a passion. So when I feel blocked in a way and I can't get through to people what I want to say (like the computer fails to send properly my information to CNN) then I get frustrated.
Looking back today, I really think this is part of my new normal. I may be on the Quest for the Crystal Mind, but I'm Indiana Jase (God that sounds silly), NOT SUPERMAN. I'm not going to be perfect every second of the day - Resveratrol or not. This is a challenge to accept and I'm getting better at it.
Anyhow, that started my day. But... what really concerned me, however, was what happened later! (Feel the suspense building?) I celebrated my brother's birthday with some family and friends for lunch in Albany. I began noticing how sleepy I was getting while eating. My conversation and thoughts were getting slower. I was getting quiet.
By the time we were finished and began our drive back home, I was almost lethargic. I kept getting more and more tired! It affected my driving, too. I happened to have a whole car load of very important people to me in the van. At the time, I didn't realize how sleepy I was, but boy, did I wake up fast when I accidentally pulled out in front of a car at an intersection! It was fine it turned out. Everyone is fine, thankfully. No one got hurt, but my pride, it took a beating. It shook me up to say the least. And I was embarassed.
What ever this "crazy" sleepiness was, it had almost affected all of us. (Remember, this is all still VERY new to me. I'm not experiencing the same brain negatives and positives as I used to - my brain with all it's new wonders, also has new "not-so-greats", like this excessive sleepiness. I'm learning about it and how to deal with it. Also learning to not drive while experiencing it!)
Well, you're probably saying, "Why on earth were you driving, anyway, if you were so tired?" Good question. I can only answer that is came on very quickly, most of it WHILE I was driving. Hopefully it'll make you feel better knowing that I learned my lesson quite quickly. A few moments after the "Incident at the Intersection", I dropped off my dear friends at their car. But more importantly I had my brother drive from that point on to my parents. I proceeded to, safely tucked away in the back seat of the van now, go to sleep. And I slept for the rest of the way to their house!
Once there, I noticed that I had just missed my ride back home. Mom would be driving past the farm anyhow, so she drove me there. Again, still overcome by this sleepiness, I curled up and caught some Zs all the 20 minute trip. THEN, I fell back to sleep, home safe and sound, for another 1 1/2 hours! That's approximately 2 1/2 hours total in naps alone!
I woke up, grabbed a little coffee, which usually brings me right back, but was dissappointed to recognize that it didn't this time. I was still kind of lethargic. So, I fed the animals, went back in and called some friends to test my slower mental speeds (I was concerned. Of course the thoughts going through my slow head were, "This is it. The ride is over. Back to my old reality...")
And, on the phone, I wasn't quite able to keep up to my fast talking close friend (no names on this blog) and I accidentally messed up and mentioned food to a dear friend who is going through a gastric bypass today, as I type! This was not the most "thoughtful" thing because she had to practically starve till the procedure took place today. (I have to say to her, now, "Sorry! I wasn't quite my usual "new" self when I was talking last night!")
And that's the point that I was concerned about. My thinking was slow and my anxiety level was up a bit. It started to feel like old times - and not in a good way...

To make an already long story short, I started feeling better later on in the evening after I ate. And much to my excitement, I awoke this morning back to "new" normal!!!! YES!! Thank you God! It passed!
I'll keep you posted of course, but... what happened, my experience yesterday, is something to keep an eye on. For your info, (which this all is!) I did go through a similar "hiccup", after a week and a 1/2 on Resveratrol. It was VERY similar, but, thankfully, passed as well!
Well this is a very long post. I'll end it now.
It will hopefully be one of few, but occasional dark moments in the Indiana Jase's Quest for the Crystal Mind.
I know, cheesy... but it is fun! And one thing I've learned on this quest is that, apparently, cheese ball story telling is not a symptom of mental illness cuz, today, this cheese ball feels great!