Happy Father's Day... a new meaning!

Well, I'm not a father of course. My condition and past have seen to that. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate for someone of my condition, with such erratic thought patterns and emotional ups and downs, could adequately handle the position of fatherhood. I believe it was a good decision on my part.
Now, I have to assert that this was simply my choice, dealing with my specific situation. I say this because I believe that it is possible for someone, even with Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder to be a healthy and great parent. So I want to be clear about that. I am in NO WAY saying people with mental illness (which there are many kinds of and many people afflicted out there who already are parents) should not be parents. Again, I say parents with mental illness can be wonderful parents. It's simply a personal choice that I made a while ago that I would not be a father.
I don't think anything is wrong with not participating in the process of bringing a new life into the world. I recall the world is in a state of over population. But, still, there is much social pressure to do so and I personally beleive it should be a very serious consideration on the part of the parent to be. But as a result of my personal belief system (everyone's got their own) and my state of affairs mentally, I chose not to.
But you know what? Things are quite suddenly a bit different now.
This does not mean that I am rushing out, ready to purchase a crib and some stuffed animals (amongst the MANY other purchases necessary for a baby). What it means is that, for the first time, I feel that "normalacy" I've been so looking for. I feel healthy. I feel good. As I've said already countless times in this blog, I don't know for how long, but it's amazing to have this gift, no matter for how long it lasts. It has given me a lot of clarity regarding my future. Suddenly, for the first time in my 35 years, I'm not so quick to say I will never have a child. I certainly am not going to do it this year or next or for quite awhile, if I do, but it is a potential possibility now.
This is due to the clarity itself, of course, and the peaceful and happy calm I now seem to own and it also reflects the change in the fear of passing on "defective" genes to my baby, should I have one. As indicated by me in the previous post, I don't feel like I am cured. That makes it sound like I have no genetic markers in my system any longer or that I have no need for any more pills. This is not the case. I STILL am taking my Abilify and Zoloft, but now in conjunction with Resveratrol. It seems to be the winning combo for me.
But, getting back to what I was speaking of, that I feel symptom free from those defective genes. The effects of those Schizo Affective Bipolar Disordered (I'm saying this diagnosis over and over again in this blog because the word itself causes much of a negative emotional response in people. I feel like the more it's used - Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder - the more we get used to it and the less power fear has over us in regards to it. It's just a word. Don't be afraid of it anymore!) genes are not affecting me now.
This gives me hope that, just say hypothetically, if I should decide at some point to have a child - not by way of adoption - but a genetic child who shares my DNA, and if this is the breakthrough that I hope it is, then I should hope that, even if my baby has the condition in their own DNA, which probably is not preventable yet, with this new treatment potential, they will never see a day experiencing the symptoms of the illness. They would simply have the markers, like I do now in their genes, but never a Schizo Affective Bipolar Disordered day. Wouldn't that be wonderful!
It gives me such hope for the future of our society. How many crimes both violent and non violent are associated with mental illness? You'd be surprised to know that not as many violent as you'd think. Most people associate the word Schizophrenia or mental illness with the likes of serial killers like in movies such as Friday the 13th's Jason (I know, the name is where the similarities end) Vorhees or Halloween's Micheal Myers. Come on. Admit it. The thought has passed through your head at least once. You hear, Schizo and think "horror movie villain".
Well I'm here to defend the real victims of that way of thinking, the poor people actually afflicted with the mental illness. Most are very peaceful and scared and very, very sick. And they need help. I pray that my information and potential personal discovery works for them as well. Let's face it, in our society, everyone deserves to be a little happier. This may be a possible solution!
Before I end this post, I'd like to get a little teary eyed and thank my father on this Father's Day, for being as wonderful and supportive, in ALL of my unusualities. It couldn't have been easy to raise a son with such issues. He has been there every step of the way, along with my mother, and to him I praise and thank from the bottom of my clear headed, newly healthy soul. I couldn't have survived those difficult years had it not been for his and my mother's love. They carried me. I now want to return the favor and raise them high above the heads of the masses and let the world know their amazing strength and that they are truly Saints, in every sense of the word. I adore you and love you. Thank you.
Love,
your new son, Jason