So, as you know, this is one big adventure of an experiment where I am after the Holy Grail. Not for longevity purposes, though, should the wonderful effects on my condition continue, I certainly have a lot of ground to makeup for, so I will want to live a much longer life. (Resveratrol has been shown to do that.) But, no, I am talking about the actual ultimate in obtainable states of mind - normalacy (don't think it's a word, but it is now!). That's something I've been seeking, like Indiana Jones on a crusade for the Holy Grail in one of his movies, for most of my life. Certainly ALL of my diagnosed life. But yes, even before I knew that I had been clinically determined to not be "normal" - I knew something was wrong with my head and a better life, though alluding me, existed somewhere for me.
You could be saying to yourself the typical politically correct line, "What's normal, anyway?" I'm telling you, I can answer that question. There is a Normal state of mind that can be achieved - even if you're Schizo Affective Bipolar Disordered... and I have.
At least, for now. Whether it continues is what everyone is eagerly hoping to affirm in me. I refer to my beloved family and friends, the genius professionals in the Mental Health field that I have contacted, my wonderful social worker, and terrific nurse practitioner and don't forget, of course, little old me! I get the sense that they are holding their breathe a bit for me, eagerly anticipating a positive end result.
Someone quite smart, yesterday suggested that I wait another 2 -4 months, to see if it is in fact some kind of placebo fluke, or if it is what I believe it is - a remedy. I agreed and reluctantly hung up the phone at the end of the conversation. I wanted to continue talking though I knew how busy he was. And that is the most challenging part of this whole experience - remaining patient. (Apparently patience is a normal emotional state and has nothing to do with Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder. I'm still learning these things.) I feel more adult than I ever have in my life and yet I feel youthful and impatient about the waiting game. My brain has become so sharp. Communication happens now so fluidly. It's not a struggle. It's a sheer joy to be with another human being and talking with them.
Now an interesting note which is still on point, is the fact that I am now referring to my social phobia. I spoke yesterday with someone who has a similar diagnoses (who will remain nameless) and he said he shares the same symptoms as I, but without the social anxiety for the most part. Social anxiety was the most debilitating aspect of my condition. I just hid from everyone. Even in a face to face conversation where I could not hide physically, I found myself monitoring every little word that came out of my mouth. No wonder my conversations were so labored! I was working doubly hard to just communicate properly, meanwhile experiencing all the anxiety simultaneously. The point here of this paragraph, is to compare this one with the paragraph up above. I have done a 180 in terms of my social phobia. I am a social butterfly now - in the most healthy of ways. This is why I want to speak about this with everyone. This is why I need to communicate my ideas and results. I have 35 years to makeup for!
Okay, back to the topics at hand - the new Resveratrol pills! I just received them yesterday. I of course, in true Jason fashion, was so eager that I popped them immediately. I would tell you what they are but I don't think it's a good idea for me to endorse any products yet. I simply haven't used them, as pointed out earlier, long enough.
But this, in all my research, seems to be the best that I'm aware of. It's an extremely powerful version of Resveratrol containing the ever important Trans Resveratrol but their processing of it and it's delivery system is by far the most unique and effective.
Well, after taking my first dose, I quickly (within 1/2 hour) began noticing similar "buzz" like effects that reminded me of the first time I'd taken Resveratrol 3 1/2 weeks ago. This made me feel very confident that it was doing something good. By the way, the buzz feeling, goes away quickly and doesn't come back (unless you're upgrading your dosage apparently).
Well my mind smoothed out even more than it was before. I mean, my thoughts became even more clear and distinct, my sense of humor increased a bit more, and the slight residue of any kind of left over negatives (which I'm having a challenging time recognizing) completely vanished. In other words, I thought the previous product was effective. This was better!
These effects lasted all through the day and waking up this morning were still present.
So, day 1 on the NEW pills has concluded and the results are fantastic. I'm thrilled at the opportunity to have tried the first sequence of pills from the other manufacturer so that I have a definite comparison. I reiterate, there seems to be a significant difference between the two products. I'm contemplating contacting the new manufacturer of the new pills and revealing my exciting POTENTIAL news. Remember, it's early yet (I'm saying this to myself as much as I am to you.)
Well, the farm is calling and the lawn is growing and the mower is beckoning me to use it (no - I'm not hallucinating! It's just a silly personification of an inanimate object for literary entertainment purposes only.) I will be back soon to chat with you and hopefully continue to dispel good news for me and you both!
Talk soon!
Jason
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