First Entry!

Well… so it begins. This is my first official documented report of me - Jason - on the exciting new supplement, Resveratrol. I must first make a clear statement, before spouting off on the positive effects of this beautiful supplement on my dreaded and often over whelming mental illness of Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder (yes it’s a real condition and yes, it’s as bad as it sounds) that I am no doctor. I am not a scientist. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not even a nutritional professional working in a health food store. I am simply a layman self researching individual willing to experiment with my own mind and body. I am aware that I do this at my own risk. I do not recommend anyone else do what I do. I make no assertions for anyone to mimic any of my behavior, like adjusting my intake of supplements because… it’s dangerous, quite frankly. I don’t want anyone to get hurt - including me.
Now, if you are at all interested in showing these results (which have been profound to say the least) to your doctor or responsible health care provider, please do. I’m trying to get this information out to the medical community in the most clear and accurate way. The more doctors and scientists know about my wonderful results in dealing with this product and in it’s dealing with my Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder, the more beneficial - I believe - to everyone in the long run. It may benefit someone who is Schizophrenic as well as someone Bipolar. Lucky me, I am both, but lucky me maybe not for long!

Now, I must also explain that I have no idea what is going to happen to me in the future. This apparently effective supplement could produce nothing but positive results for a short time, and I am brutally aware of the reality, that it may suddenly turn on a dime. I could suddenly have my old daily symptoms back at any moment. I am aware of this. Worse yet, I could become worse. Or worse yet, I could have other illnesses tacked on to all of that - like cancer or diabetes or a foot growing out of my head. I don’t know. But that’s actually the exciting part of this all, too. The fact is, no one seems to know. No one knows much about Resveratrol and they certainly don’t know that it may or (I’m willing to concede) may not have a role in my sudden and dramatic change for the better in regards to my mental health.
Until now that is!
So please, do not follow any of the tactics I express in this blog. This is purely informational to the doctors and researchers who have interest in this product. And, I might add, if any of them are interested in asking questions of me, PLEASE contact me at jasonator32@yahoo.com I’d LOVE to talk to more professionals about my experiences.

So let’s talk about those experiences. I guess I should explain a little bit about me first. My name is Jason. I’m a little concerned with telling you my last name as of yet. I would like to wait a bit longer before revealing that information to the public. After all, we only get one name in our lives (unless legally changed of course) and we must live with it forever, so each of us should take care with what is associated with our name. And I’m still unaware of the potential future with this supplement Resveratrol. I am feeling spectacular now (not euphoric, I must explain, but clear and calm and happy.), but I don’t know what lies ahead for me. If my old social phobia comes creeping back, as it certainly could, I will undoubtedly want to retreat into the background again, as I have for most of my life. Social phobia and anxiety, mixed with a little paranoia does that to me. Happily, though and for now, I am without!

Anywho, I have Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder, in which I’d mentioned earlier. What is that? Good question. Not many people understand it as wouldn’t I had I not had the condition to begin with. I pretty much basically means that I have all the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia neatly packed into my poor brain. It sucks. It’s true. I have or had them all - every symptom: from depression, to disthymia, to hypo mania, to mania, to paranoia, to delusional thinking, to psychotic thoughts (I know, scary!), to tactile hallucinations and a bit of audio as well, to confused and clouded thinking, to minimal memory power, to anxiety, to full blown social phobia, to ADD like symptoms such as lack of concentration… oh… the list just goes on and on. What “fun” I had on this train wreck of a human mind, as you can imagine.
You’re probably wondering if I’ve had help. Of course. I’ve had many counselors and social workers and psychiatrists and a psychiatric nurse practitioner all trying to help me out. I’m grateful to them all and respect each of them in their stages at helping me with mine.
I’ve also been on countless medications - the best in the industry, too! From Zoloft to Paxil to Lamictol to Risperdol (an anti psychotic) to Zyprexa (another one) and finally to Abilify which it and Zoloft I am now continuing to take. That’s not the only thing I take though. I’m also now on a multi vitamin and a B complex.
Now there are a few other things I take, which I now see as very important to me. See, I began getting the shakes a few years ago lightly. This is due to a tacked on condition called Tardive Diskinesia. It happens often to people who take psychotropic medications for long periods of time. Well let me just tell you, and you will soon learn this about me, that I was not ready to just sit back and let this happen to my body. So, I researched… and discovered that Vitamin E helps with Tardive Diskinesia (probably spelled wrong - don’t feel like looking it up). Well this was exciting to me so I began to take 1000 IU and before I knew it, it disappeared.
I looked deeper into this mystery and discovered that Vitamin E is what’s called a super antioxidant. They have the role of eating up free radicals in our bodies which are formed by many different aspects to life including breathing! But more often, it is due to pollution and external forces that create the free radicals (almost like rust in the cells of the body) and the antioxidants clean them out. This sounded good to me.
I did more research and discovered there are many super antioxidants out on the market readily available at most health food stores. Vitamin E, of course is one, but then there is Vitamin C, Co Enzyme Q10, ginkgo biloba (which increases blood flow to the brain), fish oil or omega 3s, tumeric and rosemary which are herbs and many, many more! And this is all leading up to what this discussion is all about in the first place because after taking all of the above for some time (countless months) I began to FEEL better.
See, I’ve discovered, after being on the best pharmaceuticals in the land for this dreaded condition, that - in my experience - drugs only bring you 75% - 80% of the way. They don’t alleviate all the symptoms of Schizo Affective Bipolar Disorder. They are wonderful and have done soooooo much for this pooooooor soul, but a complete symptom free life was still as elusive to me… as bigfoot is to the public. I’d see glimpses here and there, experience remnants of hours or maybe even a day or two which didn’t contain any of the bad symptoms mentioned above. But they were fleeting… certainly didn’t last.

But then, approximately 3 weeks ago, everything changed for me
(dramatic, huh). I saw, online, as I often discover most of my little physiological breakthroughs, that there was a product out on the market that could make you live longer. A memory jolted my sad head (and believe me, that was quite rare in the past, pre Resveratrol. I couldn’t remember my name most of the time. - exaggeration, of course)
I’d remembered reading an article over 6 years ago in a newspaper stating a claim that a super antioxidant pill was soon to be on the market, which would extend the life in people more than a third, as it had in animal studies. It eats up all the “rust” or free radicals in the system which cause the signs of aging.

“Oh my gosh”, I thought out loud. “They finally made it!”

And IT was called Resveratrol.

Resveratrol is derived from grapes found mostly in the French regions of the world, though it can be found in other places as well. As it is in grapes, it is also found in small quantities in red wine, due to the fact that the Resveratrol is primarily in the skins of grapes. I guess white wines don’t use the skins. The nutrients in the soils of France seem to be the most potent, too.

Resveratrol has been scientifically studied for only a few short years, apparently. However, there have been countless studies confirming the fact that it has anti cancer properties as well as longevity properties. These studies indicate in yeast through mice that heavier animals (I’m referring to the mice now - don’t know if there’s such thing as a heavy yeast!) that were burdened down with fat, after consuming large quantities of Resveratrol, became like Olympic athletes (as mice go, of course). They could run faster and out think their non Resveratrol cohorts.

Now that intrigued me further. First of all for the fact that this could extend my life, theoretically. But mostly for the opportunity to think faster. My brain has been lagged down since I first got it 35 years ago! I knew I was actually smarter than the thoughts I could produce in a “live” conversation, yet thinking in general was so burdened by my condition, that it often was not possible. I’d go for quite some time at various stages of the condition where not a single prominant thought would enter my head. I felt and was dumb.

But I beg to argue that fact now. I’ve now noticed and realized and finally understood for the first time in 35 years, that my intelligence was there all the time. It simply was suppressed by the negative effects of the schizoid aspects of my condition. And when I was depressed, I was doubly slow. I worked so hard under those conditions to come acrossed as intellectual as I possibly could. I think I fooled a few people into thinking that I had a semi bright brain. But mostly, it was smoke and mirrors. My brain was full of “smoke and fog” and utilizing it was a pain in the rear. Sounds weird to talk about a brain like it’s just another tool, but it sort of is. The most important tool you’ll ever use, mind you, but it is in a sense just that.

And mine needed a tune up, a thorough cleaning. Resveratrol and the other antioxidants, I believed (based on the fact that the ones I already were taking were helping me think a bit better) could do that.

I ordered it from a company online (and since sent it back due to shady practices of the company such as telemarketing calls daily for weeks and no clear costumer service). Now this was about 21 days ago today. Unbeknown to me, I would return the bottle of Resveratrol that I’d ordered, but despite that, I was truly excited to receive the bottle. It was back ordered and suggested that it would take a couple weeks.

Fast forward about 2 days to a Wednesday. I had taken my beloved mother to a doctor’s appointment in Latham, NY. While waiting for her, I asked if she’d mind if I kill some time in the nutrition shop up the road. She assured me that she was completely fine with that. I left and arrived at that fateful shop. Perusing through the isles of the interesting pharmacy of sorts, I happened to ask if they had Resveratrol, so I could compare with what I’d purchased. (Not that I knew much about the product I’d purchased online at that point, since the customer service couldn’t even tell me how many mgs of Resveratrol was in the bottle being sent. Scammy.)

The nice woman walked me over and there it was, the product that would change my life - in the flesh! I looked over the bottle and decided after a time, what the heck, I was going to buy it. Sometimes I get eager and excited to try new supplements after I’ve researched them, in the hopes that they will improve my life in some way. I don’t buy clothes or many luxury items, as I don’t have much money. (I’ll refer to this issue at another time.) But I like to occasionally buy a new supplement as long as I’ve researched it.

Happily I purchased the plain but professional looking bottle. (Very different again from the hoaky design of the online bottle that’s advertised everywhere and that I finally recieved all too late)

I picked my mom back up and we stopped at McDonalds. I (again, I have to assert - don’t do anything that I do! You should never take an unfamiliar pill for the first time, while driving) got eager and ordered a water and popped the first Resveratrol pill I would ever take. This was May 27, 2009.

Well, after about a 15 minutes of driving with my mom, we stopped at Walmart where I was to pick up my prescription Zoloft. I was beginning to feel a bit strange. Tingling in my head. A little bit buzzed, almost. I asked my mom when we got back into the car, if she could drive. She did and I carefully observed what was happening to me. Now, you have to understand that I am particularly astute to listen to my bodies sensations. People who are social phobic tend to be overly so. Social Phobia is part of my condition - and a particularly terrible part. But there are pros and cons to everything, and being able to notice subtle changes in the body is a valuable tool. So thank you social phobia for that!

Okay, I hate to leave you on such a cliff hanger, but I have to get outside and work at mowing the lawn to the estate (yes, estate. I’ll explain later). This is going to be an exciting weekend for me on this amazing farm. I can’t get into details, it’s hush hush. But when the time comes I will. So I hope you stay tuned. I plan on writing everyday that I can. I have a lot to tell about the time between the beginning and now and I will fill you in as I go.

Thanks for tuning in and I promise that it will be an exciting ride!

Take Care.
Jason